Insecurity and Invitations

There were two items I used to dread finding in my mailbox. The first, bills (I still dread those) and the second, invitations from people I do not see on a regular basis.

Weight gain prevented me from attending some events. Over the years, I have learned disappointing careers paths, relationship status and other vanity issues are causes for people to decline invites. It recently dawned on me that none of the invitations I have received (or sent) has ever included a questionnaire requiring that guests meet certain specifications to attend. No one asks for my dress size or a copy of my latest income tax statement. Rather, I receive invitations from people who want to celebrate their milestones with me.

I imagined my children shunning the world based on belief that they were not good enough to take their rightful place in it. The thought is heartbreaking. I do not want to miss life events or shun people who were once close to me. I no longer allow a lack of confidence to keep me from reconnecting with wonderful people — or possibly meeting someone new.

Insecurity still sits on my shoulder poking me each time I walk into a party. I fight those demons by wearing something that makes me feel good. A pair of high heels or a special piece of jewelry often does the job. I hold my head high, realize the focus is on the guest of honor rather than me and enjoy spending time with the people in my life.

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